According to the Oxford dictionary, the word “expectation” means a state of anticipating or believing something will happen. It can also refer to the thing itself that is anticipated, or to the basis for expecting something. Expectations can be beliefs, anticipations, hopes or desires.
This season, is there an expectation–or belief, anticipation, hope or desire that you could or should let go of?
For me, that expectation has proven both relentless and elusive. The expectation of perfection.
Perfectionism. The need, drive and will to find or create something that cannot or does not need to be improved. This desire to meet the perfect standard, reach the perfect objective or generate the perfect outcome. Does that not run contrary to the ideal of perfection itself? If I have already designed the perfect system, or discovered the perfect planning tool, would that not end the search?
It doesn’t. The once “perfect” tool is surpassed by the next, and so on. In an attempt to create or design the perfect system, meet a perfect standard of cleanliness or organization, or settle upon the “perfect” number of items to possess, the quest–even for simplicity–becomes both complicated and unending.
So, how would it feel instead to give up the notion of perfectionism? Letting go of perfectionism would feel both bad and good. At first, it would feel agitating, frustrating, and disappointing. And then…it would be a relief to release. It would feel bad for all the lost efforts, time, and energy. It would feel good to let go, start fresh, and renew. Letting go would lift the burden of ‘perfect’ everything, waiting to begin, and waiting to live. It would be scary, but it would also free up time and space for unknowing–the precious and mysterious journey of life.
Do you have an expectation that you could consider releasing this season? How would it feel? How would it change things? How could you use that energy instead?
If you have given up an expectation of something (or someone), what was it, and how did you do it? Are you glad to have done so, or do you regret it? In the process, what did you learn about yourself or about the expectation itself?
My path to releasing perfectionism began some time ago, and it will continue for some time indeed…in the meantime, I look forward to reading your thoughts, opinions and ideas on the experience of letting go of an expectation.